


Lead and I'll go

by TheArtificialDane



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: M/M, Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-26
Updated: 2019-04-26
Packaged: 2020-02-04 18:48:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,316
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18610378
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheArtificialDane/pseuds/TheArtificialDane
Summary: Hiding from the world isn't easy, even less so when you've found the love of your life.





	Lead and I'll go

**Author's Note:**

> Based on what coulda shoulda woulda have happened around Vanjies "Follow me around" video, available on WOW Presents +

“Hi.”

 

Brooke looked up from his book to see Vanjie closing the door behind him, his boyfriend wearing a pink hoodie and a tired expression on his face. 

 

Brooke was sitting on Jason’s couch, their shared manager who was kind enough to open his home to them while they were in L.A, Mayhem staying in the other room since WOW was also filming a video with him. Vanjie had jumped up and down when Jason had told him WOW had asked if they could come film a follow me around, season 10 only just off the air, and Vanjie’s popularity was growing by the minute. 

 

“They’re gone?”

 

“If they weren’t, would your ass be here?”

 

Vanjie took off his shoes, and Brooke put his book away. He had been reading a beat up copy of  _ The Picture of Dorian Grey _ , one of his old ballet company pals giving it to him when he had been in New York two weeks ago and they had had time for coffee. Brooke knew the days where he would be able to meet up with old friends almost whenever he wanted were numbered as January crept closer and closer, their season going on air any moment now. 

 

Brooke had started his book the day before at the hotel he had staying at for the past two days, Vanjie telling him he couldn’t be around when WOW came. They had wanted the raw experience, wanted to follow Vanjie around doing everything he normally did in a day, and since Brooke was on that list, they had no choice but to make sure he wasn’t an option.

 

“So we’re done pretending I don’t exist?” Brooke had meant it to be a joke, the words rolling off his tongue without any ill intent behind them.

 

“Oh year, cause this is all my decision.” 

 

Vanjie walked past Brooke, not even leaning in for a kiss before he made his way into the house.

 

“What the..” 

 

Brooke got up, following Vanjie to the bedroom Brooke had begun to think of as theirs, the red and blue walls not something Brooke would never have picked for himself, the weird collection of plush toys and the fake flowers all adding to the interesting decor, but Brooke had come to think of the room as home in L.A. Of course he would have prefered to stay with Vanjie, to really get to know what he was like when he woke up in his own bed, in his own house, doing his own thing just like Vanjie had been able to in Nashville with him, in Brooke’s own condo, Vanjie getting to spend time there with just him and his cats as they had shared long post weekend breaks together, before one or both of them had to fly off for gigs. 

 

“Jose, I was just joking.”

 

Vanjie’s home in L.A was a room at Alexis’s house, the two of them living together ever since Vanjie had almost broken his neck on his asshole of an ex years before. Brooke hadn’t even met Alexis yet, at least not as Vanjie’s boyfriend; the two knew each other as competitors, Brooke wiping the floor with Alexis when they had both participated in the same pageant, and Brooke had gotten yet another crown to add to his growing stash at home. He wanted to meet Vanjie’s drag mother, wanted to be introduced properly to a person that was so important in Vanjie’s life, but he couldn’t. Not when Alexis hadn’t signed an NDA, the risk was simply too great, and Brooke wasn’t one for risks, even less when he knew what he could lose. 

 

“Well it’s not fucking funny, okay?” 

 

Vanjie sighed, sitting down on the bed, taking his hat off and throwing it on the nightstand. Brooke closed the door behind them, locking it too for good measure. 

 

“I almost fucked up so many times. I looked like a fucking idiot.”

 

Jason had texted Brooke little updates through the day, laughing emojis telling Brooke that Vanjie had no idea what soiled meant, “recordering” getting added to Brooke’s ever growing note of things he had every intention of sharing with Nina the next time he got the chance, but he was pretty sure this wasn’t simply because of one of Vanjie’s numerous mispronunciations.

 

“Are you okay?”

 

“Not really no.” Brooke sat down on the bed, Vanjie leaning against him, resting his head on Brooke’s shoulder. “I kinda feel like shit.”

 

“You look fine.”

 

“Well, I ain’t feeling fine.” Vanjie snorted, Brooke saw his happy boyfriend for a moment, before Vanjie slumped back into the somber and frankly weird mood he had been in since he walked in the door. Vanjie kicked his feet a little, hitting Brooke’s suitcase. 

 

“It’s just.. It’s real fucking hard.”

 

Brooke pressed a gentle kiss to Vanjie’s hair, his dark locks curling slightly from the heat outside. 

 

“I’m not an actress, I don’t do no improv and shit.” 

 

“I know.” Brooke got another snort, neither of them looking forward to the copious acting challenges they knew without a doubt that they had fucked up, and fucked up good on TV. “But you did do pretty good.”

 

They had almost been caught when Mayhem had filmed, neither of them even considering that WOW would be interested in them too. Brooke was beyond surprised when Mayhem had come to visit him with the cameras rolling since he was a nobody in the eyes of the  _ Drag Race _ viewer. They had almost made it out clear, but Vanjie had been caught on his way to the bathroom, both of them convinced Mayhem had already left, Brooke already naked in the shower and waiting for Vanjie when he had suddenly heard voices from down the hall. Vanjie thankfully cranked the charm up to 11 and keeping everyone distracted, which was how he had even gotten his own segment in the first place; the cameraman fell absolutely in love with Vanjie from the moment he walked by in his little towel. 

 

“If it was just me, and I had gone fucked up, I’d be like ‘fine ho, whatever, I don’t care,’ but it ain’t even my crown on the line.”

 

Brooke knew Vanjie was having a hard time, couldn’t even imagine what the other one was going through. Vanjie wasn’t used to keeping anything quiet, his thoughts, his feelings, his likes and his dislikes, Vanjie’s mouth getting him in more problems than Brooke could count, but that was who Vanjie was at his very core. Loud, honest, brilliant, and bright.

 

“I know.” The words felt fake, like wool and deceit. 

 

“You don’t.”

 

It was true. Brooke didn’t know, and he never would. When Brooke had placed in the top three, he had been overjoyed, even the thought of winning Drag Race exhilarating. It would be a whole new adventure for him, a new stepping stone, a way to renew his artform and seek new challenges, his six pageant wins feeling more and more stale as the years went by. What he hadn’t even considered, were the months and months and months of not being able to tell anyone about what he had never expected to find on the show. Love. 

 

“God, I hate this.” Vanjie groaned, bending forward, hiding his head in his heads. “We haven’t even done press yet, and I’m already failing. How the fuck am I supposed to keep my shit together?”

 

“You’re going to do what you do best.” Brooke stroked Vanjie’s back. “You’re going to be Vanessa Vanjie Mateo, and you’ll be amazing.”

 

Vanjie looked up, and Brooke’s heart almost broke in pieces, the look in his boyfriend’s eyes not only defeated, but also sad.

 

“Can I maybe... You know... Just be Jose for a while?”

 

“Of course, baby.” Brooke took Vanjie’s chin in hand, gently leading Vanjie up and into a kiss. “Of course.” 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> A major thank you to ArtificialMeg for betaing, and cheering me on!
> 
> Please come talk to me on Tumblr at @TheArtificialDane!


End file.
